In morte veritas. Georgia Byrd clerks at a New Orleans department store. She defers pleasure: cooks gourmet meals, eats Lean Cuisine; likes a co-worker in silence; has savings, but hasn't left Louisiana. All that changes when a CT Scan discloses she has three weeks to live. She cashes her savings and heads to Europe's Grandhotel Pupp, where Chef Didier presides. She checks into the Presidential Suite, orders everything on the menu, snowboards, and comes to the attention of the chef and the hotel's powerful American guests: a Congressman, a Senator, a retail magnate, and his mistress. She has nothing to lose, so she tells them what she thinks. Will the truth set them free?

When her Great Aunt dies, famed horror hostess Elvira heads for the uptight New England town of Falwell to claim her inheritance of a haunted house, a witch's cookbook and a punk rock poodle. But once the stuffy locals get an eyeful of the scream queen's ample assets, all hell busts out and breaks loose. Can the Madonna Of The Macabre find love with a studly cinema owner, avoid her creepy Great Uncle, titillate the town's teens and become a Las Vegas dance sensation all without being burned alive at the stake?

A talented young man can't get an executive position without rising through the ranks, so he comes up with a shortcut, which also benefits his love life.